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What’s wrong with the seduction community

Can the seduction community, as many call it, do more harm than good?

The point of this very interesting article is that the advice you will find among this community in order to become a Pick-Up Artist, is often taken too seriously by complete nerds, thus only resulting in making them look even more like weirdos to girls.

It’s a long article and if you’re interested by the whole buzz around the dating community, I suggest you read it.

Allow me now to express my thoughts on this topic.

My first encounter with the community happened about two years ago, by surfing on this popular french website : http://www.frenchtouchseduction.com/

I’d just been dumped from a four years relationship and was completely broken. For weeks after the break up, I was a total mess. All I did was hanging out with friends who were as desperate as I was, drinking a lot of alcohol and basically losing touch with reality. Then I went to see a coach (who helped me tremendously - or rather : who showed me how to help myself and love myself) and began searching for online personal help.

My initial reaction while reading fts was to tell myself that those guys were even more insane than I personally felt at that time. All these acronyms, these canned techniques… But after a few weeks I went back on the site and tried reading it again. I then realised they were probably right about a few things, and began looking for more stuff I could learn from the community. I came about David DeAngelo’s website and read most of his material, then kept on discovering other online ressources.

I never became a part of the community. I have to admit that I didn’t bother for long with all the different techniques, the Cocky & Funny lines, etc. Because, as a matter of fact, it quicky appeared to me that I was just making myself look like an ass while using them. However, I did take great knowledge and grew up a lot thanks to the material that focuses on inner game - which is a pretty phrase to say “get your shit together and start feeling like a man”. I’m not saying the dating techniques taught by the seduction community are a pile of crap. They aren’t. But I see them now as only a way to show you the kind of behaviour that is potentially, if done congruently with what you really are and what you really feel, able to help you be more attractive to women. But the behaviour and attitude that are supposed to be displayed while using these techniques will come to you naturally if you feel confident about yourself as a man. You won’t even realize you’re doing it! It’s only the morning after that you’ll remember making up a good line or having the right body language for the situation : all in congruence with what you really are, not blindly copying some other dude who doesn’t and will never look, talk or smell like you’s jokes or gestures.

Come on, what Mack Daddy would seriously concentrate his energy on looking mysterious? On coming across as a prize to win? The Mack Daddy naturally behaves in a way that shows the women around him that he IS the real deal. He’s not consciously using any technique for that.

The inner game oriented material, along with the coaching I received, is what really helped me become a full grown man. I had a completely fatherless childhood and I can assure you that being raised by a single woman is the worst situation to be in for a boy in terms of strenght, charisma, character, pugnacity, composure… everything a boy will need to have acquired by the time he becomes an adult. And even more so when it comes to seducing women. If you have no one to tear mommy’s shelter apart, to show you what it is to be respected as a man by other men, what it means to tease a women and what it means to take care of yourself… you can be as smart as you wanna be, you’ll stay a kid that needs women mostly to reassure him about himself and about that mean mean world outside. And you know what? That’s exactly what women will understand when they’ll see you waiting for their approval or losing your composure whenever they say something smart. You’ll keep expecting good old mommy’s reassurance from them. Plus the benefits of sex, of course. Well that ain’t gonna happen this way. You have to become a confident man first, before laying the girls. Now of course a success or two by chance with some babe will boost your self-confidence for some time and I’m not saying you should reject the opportunity of dating a great girl if you have the chance to. As long as it doesn’t stop you from keeping up the work.

The problem is that most dating gurus, seduction websites and miracle methods put more light on the immediate effects that a few pick-up lines and palm reading techniques might give to their customers, than on the growing up part. These techniques will not work if you don’t grow up and keep behaving like, and presenting the needs of, a 6 years old. And if a kid in a 20 years old body may look cute to some girls, the same kid that tries acting like a pimp will look desperately foolish to all of them. I guarantee you that. So by taking the supposed shortcut of magic techniques, you will actually end up having worse results than before.

It took me quite a long time to understand all of this. I had to do many major freaky mistakes with women, thinking I was correctly applying my newly found-on-the-net bulletproof techniques before acknowledging I was totally incongruent. I made the mistake of looking for results instead of looking for growth. Maybe if I had gone out with real pick-up artists, I might not have done so many mistakes, but anyway laying girls around wouldn’t have made me a more grown-up man. Currently, I wouldn’t say I have become a pimp, as this was never my intention. In fact I’ve been in a relationship for a year now. But I am more confident than ever about my power of seduction and am not insecure anymore around women. I’ve learned who I am, where I’m going, what I want and what my role is. Believe me, that makes a major difference with the way I used to be a couple of years ago.

Therefore, I suggest any man who is interested in improving his rapport with women to really pause for a second and ponder on the real and profound causes for failure in your personality. Work on it. Grow! Use any technique, community help or coaching that you want, but do it the slow way. It’ll be so much more efficient.


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