Jan

17

Learn to take it easy

Filed Under Balance, Faith and fear | 1 Comment

hamac

If you’re a regular reader, chances are you’re interested in self-development. Perhaps you’re an ex procrastinator, or an ex lazy ass. And now that you’ve committed to taking actions and making a better life for yourself, chances are you’re working a lot both on your own behaviour and emotions, and with the world around you. You have learned that it is possible developing a great life that fits your expectations, but think it’s an acomplishment only workhorses can attain.

Well, I don’t believe so.

Of course, achieving good results in any area requires time, dedication and consistency. Being very focused on an area of your life you want to improve is a good thing. People who are able to focus all their mental energy on one particular area for a time long enough will multiply their chances of meeting success. These persons are the one who learn how to master a new language in a few months time. It’s the boy who changes from shy guy to nightclub playboy, and the girl who loses 50 pounds and becomes the sexiest. It feels great being able to overcome one’s fears and finally take action. However, the danger resides in the possibility of burning out of energy. Because the more effort you put in, the higher your expectations, the harder the fall if things do not work out.

Expectation, or anticipation, is a dangerous friend. If you don’t set any, then you’re not setting goals to reach for, and you’re cancelling all your possibilities of change. You’re therefore bound to keep living your life the way it’s always been. Maybe it’s a wise thing to do once you’ve reached a certain level of peace, freedom and –dare I say it- enlightenment. Buddhism for instance has placed living with no goal-oriented thinking at the core of its philosophy. I’m still pretty far from there and I make the guess that most of you are too. It’s a good thing being aware of it, as it can only help us getting closer to it.

Meanwhile, expectations and goals are what make you go forward. I said expectation is a dangerous friend because pursuing high objectives can easily become an obsession. An obsession is when you can only think about one particular topic and do activities that gravitate around it. You will devote it all your energy, mental and physical, day and night. If it’s not paying off after some time, you will get frustrated. More and more so until the point of giving it up forever and forgetting all you learned about it. What a complete waste of time and energy this would be.

The length of time it’s going to take before burning out is inversely proportional to the excessive amount of energy you’ll have put in your project. If you give it more energy than the universe can handle at that present moment, it’s only going to be wasted. So it’s crucial that you learn to dispense your energy to your project in an intelligent manner, so as not to waste it and risk running out of it. I’ve understood that time is our greatest ally, as it’s the one that does all the work once we’ve decided to push the forward button. As long as one keeps doing one’s best without overdoing it, everything will comme into place by itself.

One of the key elements I’ve been building in my own life through the years, with regards to self-development, is to learn to forgive myself when being less strong that I’d like too. Self-forgiving has tremendously helped me in several important areas of my life : work, love, freedom. It has now come to a point where I don’t even think about it in these terms anymore. Sometimes I just know that what I got to do for the next couple hours is: nothing. Nothing that ressembles work anyway.

For instance, at times I would be too tired to be productive, but I didn’t want to give up (for only a few hours) the project I was working on. But it’s important to realize that it’s normal to be tired and to just let go, because non one can do anything good when tired. So it’s ok, I accept myself to feel this way, I listen to my needs and I go to bed.

I used to just repeat this mantra : “I completely accept myself to feel this way. There’s no point in fighting against my own needs. Doing more work is only the ego talking. I listen to my feelings instead of my intellect.”

Sometimes feelings are of much more help than the intellect. I’ll have to write a text about that ;)

By the way, “slacking around” has its virtues. It allows for the mind to structure the most complex thoughts one has. It’s also a time when your conscious mind can reconnect to your body : feel your digestive process, feel your heart beating, your muscles relaxing. Practice some relaxation or lucid dreaming. Those moments reconnecting to yourself are both energy and inner peace givers.

You don’t have to be at a 110% energy level at all times. Sometimes the best thing to do is sit back and enjoy a Mojito. Nobody has an unlimited supply of energy.


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