Dec

30

The fear of moving up

Filed Under Faith and fear 

When I was a kid, I was always taught to do just whatever I felt was right doing. I didn’t realize it as a child as it was not said to me in such a direct manner, of course. What happened is that my own judgement was always given complete trust at home. Whenever I had a stupid idea (stupid as kids have it : be it climbing on the roof or wanting a tattoo at age 10), I would always be told “of course, why not?” with a sincere and encouraging smile. It’s not that my mother didn’t care : she did. But she also believed I would know what to do or not to do at the right time, and just showed me passive benevolence.

That gave me the opportunity to be confronted with my own limits at an early age. Where would I place them? It seems I’d end up instinctively push them as far as possible, while still maintaining safety for me and the people around me. Confronted to reality, it indeed appears I never crossed the line that’d put me in a dangerous situation or one that I’d later regret. I therefore understood I was able to do anything I wanted, and nothing bad would happen. That led me to grow a very strong self-confidence, and quite an underdevelopped sense of fear. More so, I tend to see fear as an information. I acknowledge its presence, but it doesn’t stop me. Fear might even become an engine. Right now, I’m scared of not being able to pursue my career for long, because it’s killing me from the inside. I turn this fear around and use it as a motivation to do whatever it takes to stop that career and embrace a more fulfilling activity.

It turns out that fear and self-trust are closely related.

But many people are crushed by fear. They would rather stay in a bad relationship or working a crappy job because they don’t envision the possibility that there’s a better way to live. “I can’t live single.” “I need money to eat.” Perhaps it’s true. But it probably shouldn’t be one’s main concern. If those are the only thoughts that come to your mind when you think about change, it’s because they’re the consequence of a lack of trust in your ability to move up and be more succesful. It’s the result of being blinded by fear and obsessivly concerned by the possibility of failure. But let me tell you this : if the only thing you see in your viewfinder is failure, then for sure you will reach it!

As a result of my free-will based childhood, almost everything I did begin in adulthood resulted in great success. There was no fear in the way, so I could just devote all my energy, freely, to what I was doing a that particular time of my life. When I was a 17 years old high-school drop-out, I learned english (it’s my third language) and traveled alone to New-Zealand. When I came back I worked as a web developper, I graduated high school from home, I learned driving trucks, I learned being a driving instructor, I worked as a salesman, I studied IT networks, psychology, accounting, I gave computer lessons to elderly persons. Etc. I’ve been very good, sometimes the best, in all these different areas. I don’t intend to brag about it. I’m merely showing that because I trust myself and think that no element is worthy of fear, I’ve been able to do everything that came to my mind. I trust myself because I’ve been given the opportunity to test the world, to check where are its limits. And what I’ve learned is : there’s virtually no limit to what one can accomplish.

As long as you fear nothing, you can always go farther.

All you have to do is define your next goal.

Then, you can come up with a global and ideal (thus virtual) plan to attain it.

Since having no fear doesn’t mean being blinded by your expectations and your high sense of self-worth, you have to acknowledge and comprehend the material obstacles that will come in your way. Because they will. Actually, you’ll be lucky if the path you happen to follow ressembles in any way the one you previously laid out in your mind. Thus, you will have to constantly come up with more short-term plans to go around the obstacles. One step at a time, until reaching success. That will require you to stay focused.

Just keep in mind than an obstacle is never an impossibility : it’s merely a level that you can and will go through (or around).


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